Disclaimer: this post is majorly whiny.
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I'm staring at the empty space, wanting to write, wanting to express myself. There's so much running through my brain at the moment. Stuff that is to be decided but left in the 'procrastinating segment' of the brain to ponder over later just because life is too beautiful right now and you don't want to waste a single moment thinking about something, that you know for a fact, will make you blue. Well now is when I need to dig up all that I'd been storing inside and seriously decide on what to do, regardless of whether it makes me blue, yellow, orange, green, black or red.

But I don't want to.

Why must our lives be so dependant on other people? Why must our decisions affect others? Why must there be so much interference? Why can't I have total control of when, what, how and who? Why do they make it seem like the decision is ours when we aren't even given a choice? Why must there always be pressure? Why can't we have enough space so we can avoid hasty spur-of-the-moment decisions and have no regrets later on? Why must every spontaneous step taken involve thinking it over a million times? And then soon enough realizing it was a mistake SOLELY because it might not be acceptable by OTHER PEOPLE? What about me, myself? Why must a decision include within itself everyone else's well-being except our own? Why do I have to pretend to like people when I don't? Why do I have to pretend to not care when I do and vice versa?

Why can't I just be like the lead characters in a Mahesh Bhatt movie? They usually don't have a background, or relatives, or anyone else who'd feel ashamed just because the girl is a dancer at a club or does something that's unacceptable according to the society's norms. [not implying that I want to be a dancer at a club etc but you get the gist.]

I'm just so frustrated. All of this might seem like random rambling but it makes sense to me. It's my life, my issues, my problems. Even the venting seems useless because all I have is unanswered questions, solutions to which are bound by restrictions set by social norms. Bah. Why does it all have to keep on getting more complicated?

Why do I feel like I'm stuck in a labyrinth awaiting Minotaur and no Theseus to kill it?

argh.