I wonder why I feel so shitty.
I either wanna cry or I wanna puke.
Just feel so low, too many things, yet nothing.

There's no place like home. I miss my mommy. I need my space. Leave me alone.

la dee daa

Today I woke up at 7:15am with cute little text messages that instantly made me smile. Very few things make me smile in general, and during early mornings, even fewer.
Anyways, went to school, attended classes. I swear, I'm gonna miss this so much. The sara hua cafe, mr. sub, stupid printers that never work, vending machines that eat money off my card, the missing hawk on the floor, random bumping into people but always running off because u're always 'late' for something. This life is fun. Stressful, but then what isn't?
I've been buying so much coffee/french vanilla from tim horton's and I haven't even won a SINGLE free donut even.. what the hell! Someone in school won an ipod, and I can't freakin' even win a free donut. Talk about unfair. Khair, today I spilled coffee on a man in the bus. It wasn't my fault.. the man was in front of me, the coffee cup in my hand, open obviously, cuz I was drinking it. The bus driver braked and the coffee plopped out on the man's profile. His jacket, his pants, his sleeves. But the coffee wasn't hot. Anyway, I started saying sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to.. and I dont know what gave, but he didn't notice the spilt coffee and he didn't hear my apologies. Infact, he NEVER once looked my way! Soooo, I shut up. What he didn't know, wouldn't hurt him. he he he.
Also, I never realised wholewheat multigrain pizza could taste so good. so so good. And omg, I'm in love with cheddar rice crackers and jalapeno cheese. I also feel that my jeans get more snug by the day. Cause unknown.
Finally, watched The Departed. AMAZING. Had me on the edge at all times. I wanna do Leo DiCaprio now.
I'm in a terribly good mood which is being wasted. I wish u were here.

Making you smile, and making you happy.. has now become my daily high.

I, Ms. Selfishness-Personified, have slowly become so selfless, it's beginning to scare me.

What have you done?

Words

Words. Little words. Big words. Manipulated to express how you feel. Manipulated to rhyme in poems. Manipulated to ask questions and expect anticipated answers.

Words. Savoured, when pleasant. Erased, when hurtful. Repeated, when misunderstood.

Words.
The only thing that can keep you connected when you are miles apart from the people you love, that can make your incoherent thoughts coherent and vice versa.
The only thing I have to make you love me, and hold on to me.

The ONE thing I'd want you to use lyrically and romantically; keeping me in mind, and not her. For once.

The day you stop attributing your pessimism to practicality, is the day I'll believe you actually love me.