ahem.

It's extremely feel-good, beautifully delusional at times, makes you oh-my-god-so-this-is-what-seventh-heaven's-like happy sometimes, but really practically speaking, its a mind fuck. This should not be happening but it is. I wanted it, now I'm questioning it, but I still want it. Its a strangely haphazard mix of blissful, what-if and depressive emotions, which leave me absolutely stunned at times. Beautifully stunned. Delusionally stunned. What-the-fuck-am-I-doing stunned. Sad-stunned. Angry-stunned. Emotionally-incapable stunned.

How many people absent-mindedly leave the curtains open, switch on the light and change clothes, flashing themselves out to the world.
My state of mind makes me do that everyday lately.
Infact, I've done it so many times.. there might be a line-up outside. Tickets, popcorn, booze, everything.

Yes, I'm back. Messed up as ever.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

im sure u have quite an audience :P

welcome back...and u better start kickin some ass soon....

Anonymous said...

Yay!!! ur back ur back!..

dont worry I walked around in a T-shirt baring my midriff workin out... unknowingly exposing myself to sum guests who pulled up in our driveway..when the front door buzzer went..I dived to the floor thinkin..shit...they gotta have seen me!!..
i am such a tart!

M said...

oh shit. only too familiar wid this. i used to have nytmares abt such situations, believe me. reason being? my bedroom window wz on ground floor. eww. n i KNEW PPL ready to get tickets n line-up b4 my window and see da action unfold.

My only rescue was to turn OFF THE lyts, make sure therez total darkness, so tht not even the silhouette shows, find my way down to my clothes, stumble in darkness, feel my way to the neck-hole and guess da front right side of the shirt.

Sad. and mentally taxing, i knw!

ha! but my current window faces deserted roof-tops of villas wid ppl to busy to bother wid visting dusty roofs. i still dun take chances. The ol' established fact: its tuff being a gurl.