Now that I'm done exams and pretty much school for the next 4 months, one would think I would actually have time to waste on things like watching movies and blogging and senseless browsing the internet. Hah, I WISH!

As much as I wanna go back home, I hate this whole process of cleaning up a whole year's mess, packing, buying gifts, getting all my documents in place, bidding friends good-bye for a while, and making sure I'm not leaving anything important behind in general.

This is all do-able still.
What I just can't seem to cope up with is all the uncertainty surrounding my life. Career-wise - although I still have an academic year to go - I don't know where I'll be after that, which is a little disturbing. Relationship-wise - I just DON'T know what's going on. I just thought it was all about voicing and making the mutual "likeness" known. Whoever thought that would bring with itself so many questions, so many doubts and just so many other weird situations. As much as I want it, I don't know how it'll turn out. I see glimmers of hope and then dark clouds and then glimmers of hope again. Uncertainty again, don't know what to make out of this. I'm involuntarily losing appetite and sleep and I know think it's doing me any good physically. People tell me I've lost weight, but honestly, the way it's been lost isn't long lasting anyways so I try not to be too happy about it.

I seek solace in music. Sad songs. Happy songs. Dance songs. Depression-type songs.
It is absolutely amazing how much every sad song relates to ur situation when u're upset.

Oh please, let this phase pass soon.